Friday, February 29, 2008
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"you have always been indifferent, even to me. i didn't mind because i loved this part of you too."
I thought I had resolved these feelings. I had brushed them aside, cast far away in the vast ocean of my mind. I had avoided your gaze, shunned away from your sunny smile, enduring this hurt. I did not mind the fact that you had pretended that it has never happened. I am the one who told you to ignore me. It is all my fault. For creating this mess when I am not mature enough.
"hey, are you free tomorrow?"
"uh...uhm.. i'll will be with my family..."
"i see. that's a shame. i'll see you next week then."
Your serence smile slashed my heart like a rusted nail that slyly hooks onto your shirt. I knew that I will remember. Yet knowing still did not prevent the overwhelming emotions that swept me back to the very first day.
"why... did you lie about being with your family? i am angry. you, so honest and proper, have told me stupid lie. are you trying to say... that being with me made you feel so bad... that you can do nothing but lie?"
Today was the day when I was welcomed into your world. Adding on to my collection of new emotions. Feeling different kinds of happiness at the same moment: ecstasy, delirious, rhapsodic; I was intoxicated repeatedly in every single second I spent with you.
"i am getting angry over such trival matters. i am the true idiot. although you were the one who erred, i am the one who is feeling i am at fault."
Today was the day when jealousy won. Due to my inability to destroy this green-eyed monster, I was reduced to it's slave. I needed you every single second. I wanted you to give in to my every whim. I demanded to control you. I did not want you to see this ugly side of me.
"jumping to conclusions so selfishly... give me a break. don't think so highly of yourself. i don't need you. or so i thought..."
Today was the day when we went our separate ways. I rather self destruct. I ran away from it all. Burying it.
"so why am i fretting so much? why? i was made... to be unable to live without you.
that is the truth."
"when i see you wholeheartedly and desperately loving me the first time... i, too, wanted to fall in love with you and learn more about you. this is the reason why..."
It has been 8 years since.
"and this is the lie. i will... never love you again."
Can today be the day where we meet again for the first time?
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Kyo wa Fuji Syusuke san no otanjoubi desu!!
although this fic is not to celebrate his birthday xD it is to celebrate this day that appears only once in every four years. a rare day. an even obscure day for two absolute strangers to meet and fall in love. so romantic? in a way, yes. and in a way, no. for two strangers who become friends and gradually lovers is romanticism itself. there are so many faces in the world. if a second, even a moment is missed, this fated reunion will never happen.
shige is love. :) unrequited love is sweeter. because there is a taste of longing and failure. i think i just enjoy the thrill of "falling" in love instead of the real one. more excitement? >D
Labels: fic, shige love
came at:
7:29 PM
7:29 PM
Thursday, February 21, 2008
What can I say? My group wasn't very enthusiasic on the first day. Expected, but things got a little bit better on the second day. But there was still this girl who kept using her handphone during all the activities. HElloooo, respect please. Although the games were the same as the first orientation, the council did put in effort. Or at least, I think they did. The games are fun ;D , and everybody started to open their mouth to cheer. Starting to bond ;D. I still prefer Sec 3 camp though. Although I got wet and dirty, I didn't mind because everyone was the same.
Aztec is losing. but was champion during the first orientation. How ironic... Who cares. As long I have fun ;D
I hope I'm in the same class as my friends. And YAY~~~ i bought the guy's shirt instead of the female one ;D
--------------------------------------------
here's to BL! ;D and
Tomorrow is Nomura Takuya's Birthday! ;D
otanjoubi omedato!
Info about Takuya Nomura
.A character from tennis no oujisama
.Vice-Captain of St. Rudolph
.Constantly hit by Yuuta for calling him Fuji Shuusuke's little brother
.weakest player on the team based on the lineup that Mizuki created, though he brags otherwise as seen in the fanbook. All the strongest players played in the first matches while he was the last.
Labels: boysloveLOVE, ranting
came at:
10:19 PM
10:19 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
yay~ Here's the MomoxKaidou fanfic!
Title is Haiagare, Kaidou because of the song that Momo sang
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MomoxKaidou fanfic - Haiagare, Kaidou
Chapter 1 – Agitato
Kaidou
My first impression of him was a big show off. Annoying and loud. I didn’t like him. Playing a match with him meant having a lot of spectators. Although he is flashy, I had to admit his tennis skills are above average.
Momoshiro
What’s up with that bandana guy? I don’t like his attitude. I don’t like it at all. He is so arrogant; not even bothering to shake hands after a match. That weird sound he makes, and that curve ball… just like a snake. He is a good opponent.
Chapter 2 – Andante
Because we are rivals, I understand what you feel. Being defeated by your own specialty, the setback is great. However, it means you need to break through your present limits and evolve. And because we are rivals, I will never let you get defeated by anyone but me. So stand up, Kaidou. I will protect you until you are able to compete with me again.
Game to XX pair 3-0
“MAMUSHI! Show them your true power. I’ll be waiting until you do. And until then, I’ll never give up!”
Momoshiro… what he said is true… Kaidou Kaoru, what the hell are you doing?
Game to XX pair 5-0
So they returned your Snake. Then you’ll just hit one where they can’t return it!
“DON’T UNDERESTIMATE KAIDOU KAORU!”
Mamushi… Heh. He’s finally back.
Game to Momoshiro-Kaidou pair 7-5!
---------
“Momoshiro… Thanks for earlier.”
“Huh? What did you say? Can you repeat that?” Momo grinned cheekily.
“I said thanks for earlier.” Kaidou turned so his flushed cheeks are hidden.
“Did I hear wrongly? Or did Mamushi just apologise?” Momo draped him arm over Kaidou and stuck a finger out.
“ Don’t touch me. I’m changing.” Momo poked Kaidou’s cheek when he turned to scold him.
“I’m leaving.”
Once outside, Kaidou smiled to himself, and found himself touching his cheek where Momo poked him.
W-what am I doing?!
Chapter 3 – Allegretto
Game and match to Jackal-Marui pair, 6-1!
We would have won the match, if not for my stubbornness and pride. Why didn’t I listen to him? Then I could have brushed off this loss as his fault. Why? Why did I persist in using my snake? I had always relied on my snake. In every single match I played, I will always use my snake.
“Don’t mind, Kaidou. At least you gave your all.”
“Momoshiro! What are you doing here?”
“I came to check whether you were crying because of the loss.” ^^
“Go away.” Kaidou felt too exhausted to think of a smart reply. He couldn’t be bothered to fight with Momoshiro today.
He felt a slight pressure on his head.
“W-wha? Don’t touch me.” Kaidou swatted at Momoshiro’s hand half-heartedly.
“Thanks for lending my your bandana.”
“It’s partly my fault that you fell. You were trying to cover for me.” Kaidou muttered.
“ Oho? What’s this? Kaidou agreeing with me? This is rare! Very rare.”
“You’re annoying. Wipe that grin off your face, damn it.”
“Why don’t you help me?” Momo leaned closer and kissed Kaidou.
“Uwah! Someone will see! And what are you doing so suddenly?” Kaidou couldn’t help but feel a bit ecstatic.
“Time to go back! Inui senpai’s match will be starting soon, Kaidou~” Momo literally flew back.
“Damn that Momoshiro.” And Kaidou realized that Momo had called him Kaidou, instead of Mamushi.
- おわり。-
Chapter 1 – Agitato
Kaidou
My first impression of him was a big show off. Annoying and loud. I didn’t like him. Playing a match with him meant having a lot of spectators. Although he is flashy, I had to admit his tennis skills are above average.
Momoshiro
What’s up with that bandana guy? I don’t like his attitude. I don’t like it at all. He is so arrogant; not even bothering to shake hands after a match. That weird sound he makes, and that curve ball… just like a snake. He is a good opponent.
Chapter 2 – Andante
Because we are rivals, I understand what you feel. Being defeated by your own specialty, the setback is great. However, it means you need to break through your present limits and evolve. And because we are rivals, I will never let you get defeated by anyone but me. So stand up, Kaidou. I will protect you until you are able to compete with me again.
Game to XX pair 3-0
“MAMUSHI! Show them your true power. I’ll be waiting until you do. And until then, I’ll never give up!”
Momoshiro… what he said is true… Kaidou Kaoru, what the hell are you doing?
Game to XX pair 5-0
So they returned your Snake. Then you’ll just hit one where they can’t return it!
“DON’T UNDERESTIMATE KAIDOU KAORU!”
Mamushi… Heh. He’s finally back.
Game to Momoshiro-Kaidou pair 7-5!
---------
“Momoshiro… Thanks for earlier.”
“Huh? What did you say? Can you repeat that?” Momo grinned cheekily.
“I said thanks for earlier.” Kaidou turned so his flushed cheeks are hidden.
“Did I hear wrongly? Or did Mamushi just apologise?” Momo draped him arm over Kaidou and stuck a finger out.
“ Don’t touch me. I’m changing.” Momo poked Kaidou’s cheek when he turned to scold him.
“I’m leaving.”
Once outside, Kaidou smiled to himself, and found himself touching his cheek where Momo poked him.
W-what am I doing?!
Chapter 3 – Allegretto
Game and match to Jackal-Marui pair, 6-1!
We would have won the match, if not for my stubbornness and pride. Why didn’t I listen to him? Then I could have brushed off this loss as his fault. Why? Why did I persist in using my snake? I had always relied on my snake. In every single match I played, I will always use my snake.
“Don’t mind, Kaidou. At least you gave your all.”
“Momoshiro! What are you doing here?”
“I came to check whether you were crying because of the loss.” ^^
“Go away.” Kaidou felt too exhausted to think of a smart reply. He couldn’t be bothered to fight with Momoshiro today.
He felt a slight pressure on his head.
“W-wha? Don’t touch me.” Kaidou swatted at Momoshiro’s hand half-heartedly.
“Thanks for lending my your bandana.”
“It’s partly my fault that you fell. You were trying to cover for me.” Kaidou muttered.
“ Oho? What’s this? Kaidou agreeing with me? This is rare! Very rare.”
“You’re annoying. Wipe that grin off your face, damn it.”
“Why don’t you help me?” Momo leaned closer and kissed Kaidou.
“Uwah! Someone will see! And what are you doing so suddenly?” Kaidou couldn’t help but feel a bit ecstatic.
“Time to go back! Inui senpai’s match will be starting soon, Kaidou~” Momo literally flew back.
“Damn that Momoshiro.” And Kaidou realized that Momo had called him Kaidou, instead of Mamushi.
- おわり。-
Labels: fic, kaidou love
came at:
3:21 PM
3:21 PM
Yay~ tenimyu - Absolute King Rikkai feat. Rokkaku ~ First Service
At first I didn't really like that Kaidou... because I find him too pretty <------ weird, since i keep squealing over pretty people @@ he didn't suit my Kaidou image... ;x But after watching the First Service, I find his acting to be good, and ended up liking him *sweat* i also liked that Momo ;DD he's a very cute Momo *VK eyebrows!* Watching Momo-kaidou pair VS Jackal-Marui pair made me like MomoxKaidou @@ WHAT ABOUT INUI?! hehes... Watching the song Haiagare Kaidou made me laugh really hard. Yes, I am evil. Kaidou was being pulled around the stage and pushed to the floor. Momo was supposed to support Kaidou, but it looked more to me like bullying.... The expressions of Kaidou is priceless. And they went so freaking CLOSE!!! *fangirl alert*
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Haiagare Kaidou
Haiagare Kaidou Omae no tsurasa wa ore no itami
Haiagare Kaidou Omae no yowasa wa ore no hagemi
Get up, Kaidoh, Your pain is my ache
Get up, Kaidoh, Your weakness is my incentive
RIVAL dakara koso Ore wa omae wo sasaeru
senyuu dakara koso Ore wa omae wo BACK UP
As we are rivals, I am supporting you
As we are comrades, I will back you up
Makasetoke ore no tokui na Kajiba no bakajikara
Omae ga fukkatsu suru made Ore no bariki wa
Kesshite otoroenaize
Leave it to me, My specialty, The animal strength of a fire scene
Until you recover, My horsepower
Will never decay
Haiagare Kaidou Omae no tsurasa wa ore no itami
Haiagare Kaidou Omae no yowasa wa ore no hagemi
Get up, Kaidoh, Your pain is my ache
Get up, Kaidoh, Your weakness is my incentive
DOUBLES nan dakara FOLLOW suru no wa atari mae
Kusareen nan dakara Kata ni tsukamare STAND UP
Because it's doubles, It's natural that I'll follow
Because we are bound to be together, hold on to my shoulder, stand up
Daijoubu tatakare jouzu Gyakkyou wa nareteru
Itsumo no omae ni naru made Ore wa POWERFUL
BALL ni kurai tsukuze
No problem, good at getting striked, and used to adversity
Until you become the usual you, I am powerful
Cling onto the ball
----------------------------------------------------
Lyrics romanji: thanks to kazekitsunek
Lyrics translation: thanks to kamakari_date
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Now I'll going to write a MomoxKaidou fanfic. Woo!
Labels: kaidou love
came at:
9:53 AM
9:53 AM
Sunday, February 17, 2008
お前に発する愛の言葉の数々に, いつか言霊が宿るといい.
omae ni hassuru ai no kotoba no kazukazu ni, itsuka kotodama ga yadoru to ii.
Labels: boysloveLOVE
came at:
5:13 PM
5:13 PM
Gah. Why must they come anyway? I accidentally cut myself while preparing the prawns >.>
And the funny thing is, i imagined kaidou making lunch O.O my imagination is too hard to comprehend xD
Labels: kaidou love, ranting
came at:
11:31 AM
11:31 AM
Saturday, February 16, 2008
woo.... just read a tezukaxfuji doujin.... and komeya is a tensai. I love the way she expresses tezuka's personality and fuji's sadness...
I'm not the one... reflecting in your eyes...
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yumyum! The Hokkaido crepe icecream thing is nice! Even though I consider it a bit expensive.... it's really worth it! heh. i wanna share with kaidou..... or see inui feed kaidou >DD woo fangirl hormones alert.... and emo hormones too.
Sometimes i wonder if I really come across someone I really like, and that person is gay, will I still fangirl like this? Or will I try and get that person to like me instead?
And yes. Eating iceream gets me thinking like that. i think too much. ARGH!SHUTMYDAMNBRAINOFF! And I can't because... i don't really know >.> Is too confused.
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Here's some Kaidou to calm me down.
Kaidou Kaoru
"Never underestimate Kaidou Kaoru!"
Seishun Gakuen Middle School: Year 2, Class 7, Number 4
Birthday (Sign): May 11th (Taurus)
Blood type: B
Techniques: Snake, Boomerang Snake, Short Snake, Jairou Lazer
Committee: N/A
Worst Subject: Math, Science
Often visited place in school: Training Room
Elementary School: Okutamagawa Elementary School
Uses allowance on: Training tools
Favorite Motto: "Lick up the poison until the plate is cleared."
Favorite types of movies: Japanese
Favorite type of books: Literature about the Meiji era
Favorite type of music: Traditional Japanese instrument music
Favorite date spot: Zoo (wants to see polar bears)
Most wanted thing right now: New items for training.
Daily Routine: Road work, cleaning his room
Doesn't like/bad at doing: Doesn't like monsters or ghosts
Special skill aside from tennis: Housework
thanks to Goldenink at LiveJournal;D
funny how Gackt is slowly disppearing from my fangirling ._.
Labels: kaidou love, rants
came at:
9:13 PM
9:13 PM
deleted all drafts. after reading the previous posts I feel even more emo. but i guess it's natural. there's nothing for me to do now for a few more days anyway, so i shouldn't waste it on these feelings. there'll be plenty of chances hurhur.
inuixkaidou saves the day! yay~
Labels: first post
came at:
1:07 PM
1:07 PM
IT'S BIG NEWS!
yay it's NEWS! I like to make pretty boys gay.I want to rule the world.
I must be positive.
I'm a paedophile.
I want UEDA. My HIME!!
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History Notes
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Kato Shigeaki. 1987.07.11
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