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"you have always been indifferent, even to me. i didn't mind because i loved this part of you too."

I thought I had resolved these feelings. I had brushed them aside, cast far away in the vast ocean of my mind. I had avoided your gaze, shunned away from your sunny smile, enduring this hurt. I did not mind the fact that you had pretended that it has never happened. I am the one who told you to ignore me. It is all my fault. For creating this mess when I am not mature enough.

"hey, are you free tomorrow?"

"uh...uhm.. i'll will be with my family..."

"i see. that's a shame. i'll see you next week then."

Your serence smile slashed my heart like a rusted nail that slyly hooks onto your shirt. I knew that I will remember. Yet knowing still did not prevent the overwhelming emotions that swept me back to the very first day.

"why... did you lie about being with your family? i am angry. you, so honest and proper, have told me stupid lie. are you trying to say... that being with me made you feel so bad... that you can do nothing but lie?"

Today was the day when I was welcomed into your world. Adding on to my collection of new emotions. Feeling different kinds of happiness at the same moment: ecstasy, delirious, rhapsodic; I was intoxicated repeatedly in every single second I spent with you.

"i am getting angry over such trival matters. i am the true idiot. although you were the one who erred, i am the one who is feeling i am at fault."

Today was the day when jealousy won. Due to my inability to destroy this green-eyed monster, I was reduced to it's slave. I needed you every single second. I wanted you to give in to my every whim. I demanded to control you. I did not want you to see this ugly side of me.

"jumping to conclusions so selfishly... give me a break. don't think so highly of yourself. i don't need you. or so i thought..."

Today was the day when we went our separate ways. I rather self destruct. I ran away from it all. Burying it.

"so why am i fretting so much? why? i was made... to be unable to live without you.
that is the truth."

It has been 8 years since.

"and this is the lie. i will... never love you again."

Can today be the day where we meet again for the first time?
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Kyo wa Fuji Syusuke san no otanjoubi desu!!
although this fic is not to celebrate his birthday xD it is to celebrate this day that appears only once in every four years. a rare day. an even obscure day for two absolute strangers to meet and fall in love. so romantic? in a way, yes. and in a way, no. for two strangers who become friends and gradually lovers is romanticism itself. there are so many faces in the world. if a second, even a moment is missed, this fated reunion will never happen.

shige is love. :) unrequited love is sweeter. because there is a taste of longing and failure. i think i just enjoy the thrill of "falling" in love instead of the real one. more excitement? >D

Labels: fic, shige love

yay it's NEWS! I like to make pretty boys gay.
I want to rule the world.
I must be positive.
I'm a paedophile.
I want UEDA. My HIME!!

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Kato Shigeaki. 1987.07.11
Koyama Keiichiro 1984.05.01
Tegoshi Yuuya 1987.11.11
Masuda Takahisa 1986.07.04
Yamashita Tomohisa 1985.04.09
Nishikido Ryo 1984.11.03


Ueda Tatsuya 1983.10.04
Tanaka Koki 1985.11.05
Nakamaru Yuichi 1983.09.04
Kamenashi Kazuya 1986.02.23
Taguchi Junnosuke 1984.11.29
Akanishi Jin 1984.07.04


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