Kizuna

What is love… it feels long since I have felt such a word.
Trusting each other, caring for each other…
Feelings that bond…
Working hard together for an unknown future…

So fragile…



And easily destroyed.
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Shige woke to the incessant ringing of his mobile. A message from him had arrived, at last. It was three in the morning. Looking at the screen blearily, he thought he had misread the name. But it is his, Yamashita Tomohisa.

Sorry for waking you up, but filming just ended. I missed you.

He didn’t misread the name. It is his, his lover, now. No longer belonging to another, finally his. Shige clumsily keyed in his message and was wide awake, waiting for the next to come through. It came after a minute.

There were horrible parts. The horrible parts were that you weren’t around.

Shige grinned into his pillow, fantasizing it was him he was hugging. He texted back, but received a phone call almost immediately after he sent the message.
“Ok,” was the cool voice. Tired, hoarse from the many takes, but still liquid to Shige’s ears.

“B-but you haven’t even read my message,” Shige croaked, feeling shattered and displaced next to this calm man.

“I read your mind,” he said, as three knocks sounded.

Shige jumped off the bed and raced to the door. His dog was woken by the sudden presence of the other man, but did no more than flap one ear and closed her eyes.

“Gomen Nana-chan,” he whispered, and patted her head, and Shige also wished for the same treatment.

Yamapi gestured Shige to follow him into the room, so they will not be interrupted.

“Mhmm… this place is the most comfortable,” Yamapi rested his head on Shige’s lap and snuggled.

Shige gracelessly brushed away Yamapi’s hair from his face, but Yamapi did not seem to mind.

“It’s so comfortable… I’m going to fall asleep,” Yamapi yawned, an act which Shige gawked at, still constantly awed by, although he had seen this many times. Then Yamapi raised his head and kissed Shige on the lips and smiled. Then his eyes slowly closed; a tranquil face was left.

Shige is very sure he loves this man.
When morning came, he was gone from his lap, and Shige was lying flat on the bed. He got up, half believing it to be a dream. Then he heard Nana-chan barking enthusiastically and the door opening.

“Ah, you’re awake.” Yamapi tossed the keys on the table and joined in the hug Nana-chan was giving her master.

“Mhmm.” Shige couldn’t say anything intelligent when he was with Yamapi. “Why are you up so early?”

“Let’s sleep together then,” Yamapi stared lustily at Shige and cornered him so he fell and Yamapi was on top of him.

”uh…” Shige was then interrupted by Nana-chan who wanted to join in. She wriggled in between the both of them and barked twice.

Then she licked Shige’s face vigorously and Shige ended laughing. He lost his balance and fell off the floor.

“Itai… Nana-chan?” Shige picked himself up from the floor and looked around him. Nana-chan had a leash around her neck. His bedroom was a mess. He went out to the living room and saw the keys on the table. “So was it a dream?” Shige took a shower and pondered.
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NEWS had dance practice today, and Shige always had the hardest time following, but today, he caught it pretty quickly. He turned with a slight hip movement and a flourish which was met with applause from Tegoshi and Massu.

“You’ve improved a lot, Shige!” Massu grinned.

“That’s right… You’re dancing like Yamapi…” Tegoshi had a wistful look on his face.

“Nah… Compared to him, this time could be luck. Anyway, he taught me a lot,” Shige thumbed a finger at Yamapi who was walking out the door.

Tegoshi and Massu looked at each other and shrugged. “If you say so. We’re going off to practice now. See you later.” Massu and Tegoshi then turned and walked off to another room.

Just then, Koyama came bounding up to Shige.

“Ne, have you seen Ryo-chan? He forgot his handphone.”
“Handphone?” Shige stared at the empty hand Koyama put out. “Uh, are you feeling ok? Ryo-chan… Ryo-chan has gone almost six months ago…”

“Six months? What are you talking about? Don’t be funny, Shige.” Koyama frowned at Shige’s insensitivity. “If you don’t know then say so.” Koyama stomped off, leaving Shige alone and bewildered.
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That night, Nana-chan behaved peculiarly. She seemed to shrink away from Shige as he approached. In the end, Shige gave up and put her dinner and left her alone. When he came back, the food was gone and Nana-chan was nowhere to be found.
“She must be hiding somewhere.” Shige muttered to himself, feeling hurt. He messaged Yamapi about it and hoped he would get the message and stay over. He waited for 2 hours; it was twelve midnight, already a new day. Shige decided to sleep and forget about it. He wasn’t one to say things directly like… Ryo. Which reminds him of Koyama. Koyama mentioned Ryo after six months. He didn’t talk much about him after that incident. Shige knew about their relationship after they returned from Hawaii. There was a huge incident before Ryo had passed on. Koyama and Shige had separated a little, and were not as close as they had been before.

Koyama confessing to Shige, and Shige didn’t know whether to choose between his best friend or him. In the end he sorted out his feelings after Ryo brought Koyama away for a while. From Yamapi, he found out that he had a similar incident. Ryo confessed to Yamapi, but left the decision up to Yamapi. Just like him and Koyama. That happened almost two years ago. Then the unfortunate incident changed Koyama. Even Tegoshi and Massu, everyone who knew Ryo in JE; they had learnt not to speak of the incident when Koyama is around.

Shige decided that he should start over with Koyama again.

He checked his phone again. One new message appeared. It was Koyama.

“Ryo still did not answer the phone when I called him. Do you know where could he be? His phone is still with me.”

Shige pondered what to reply Koyama. He may be the only one who could tell him the truth about Ryo, but it still required subtlety.

“I’ve told him. He says to pass it to him the next time.”

A white lie never hurt anyone. Shige then slept uneasily. He had a dream. He remembered his first love, muscular and tall for his age. He had tripped in front of that person, and he prevented his fall, catching him in his strong arms. Shige then looked up, and was rudely woken by his alarm clock. He jolted, and checked his phone again. Yamapi had replied. He felt guilty for wanting to see his first love again. It had been in junior high, someone he met in the playground.

Sure. Don’t be late. :)

It was very ordinary, but somehow, it made Shige smile. Shige decided to go early. On his way there, he caught a glimpse of Ryo. But it was impossible! Ryo is gone… for nearly six months. But he seemed solid; people were avoiding him. Shige went after him, hoping to get an explanation. He ran past crowds of people, through the many crows and causing them to flutter.
Ah, a traffic light. He may be able to catch up now.
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Koyama walked behind many blond heads, and then took a short cut. He was going to be late meeting Ryo. His hand phone rang. A new message was received. He flipped open his phone only to get it snatched out of his hands by a hooded person.

Without any ado, Koyama ran after him. The thief did not seem to tire, and did not seem to speed up either. It was as if he was playing a game with Koyama. He was running out of stamina soon.
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Shige could not shout out as he didn’t want to draw attention to him and Ryo. He tried his best to reach him, but he was always one step behind. Then he noticed the path he was going in.
Is he going to the park?
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“Stop! Thief!” Koyama shouted, hoping for help from the surrounding picnickers.

Shige heard the shout, but his mind did not register the words until the person had stopped. Then he saw Ryo, Yamapi and Koyama in front of him.

“What’s going on?” He heard Koyama ask.

Koyama saw Yamapi, Ryo and Shige.

“Isn’t Ryo/Yamapi gone?” Shige and Koyama could not believe their eyes.

They both stared at each other when they heard the words.
Then they both felt a gentle push from behind.

“It’s time for you to wake up, Shige.” Shige heard Yamapi’s transparent voice, and he instantly remembered when he saw Yamapi fading away. Yamapi pushed an object into Shige’s hand, and led him towards Koyama.

Ryo had led Koyama towards him.

“You too, Koyama. Thanks for my phone.” Ryo waved it in the air.
“But it’s time for us to go. Look, Tegoshi and Massu were always very worried about you. Don’t cause them anymore grief.” Yamapi’s words were kinder then Ryo’s next sentences.
“Don’t be a baby and move on.” Then Ryo smiled, which was unlike him. “But don’t forget us.”
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“So both of us were always talking to someone that’s not there?” Shige was the first to speak, his voice full of melancholy.

“They were always on our minds. So I guess we are talking to our minds.”

Then Shige remembered that Yamapi had passed him something.

“Hey, it’s your phone…” Shige passed it to Koyama.

“Ah, Yamapi wanted us to meet? A plot by the both of them to cure our friendship?” Koyama’s eyebrows knitted, and seemed like he wanted to say something.

Then they both spoke at the same time.

“I’m glad we’re friends.”
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end ;D

Labels: fic

yay it's NEWS! I like to make pretty boys gay.
I want to rule the world.
I must be positive.
I'm a paedophile.
I want UEDA. My HIME!!

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History Notes
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Kato Shigeaki. 1987.07.11
Koyama Keiichiro 1984.05.01
Tegoshi Yuuya 1987.11.11
Masuda Takahisa 1986.07.04
Yamashita Tomohisa 1985.04.09
Nishikido Ryo 1984.11.03


Ueda Tatsuya 1983.10.04
Tanaka Koki 1985.11.05
Nakamaru Yuichi 1983.09.04
Kamenashi Kazuya 1986.02.23
Taguchi Junnosuke 1984.11.29
Akanishi Jin 1984.07.04


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