harhar ok i also want a new blog skin! ;D brushes please lols..
i suck at making such things.. shall try though ;D

Labels: random

Dear Koyama-san,

Hey. How have you been? I guess it is difficult for both of us. I tried to blame myself. I tried to shoulder all the burden, but I ended up hurting you even more.
Haha. I guess i really like to torture myself.
A S and M person. I was feeling really lousy last night. So I made myself feel worse today.
I guess it needed something to make it spill over. Maybe I was hoping for something.
So I feel better. Anything. It is hard to live. But that is what makes it enjoyable.
Maybe I live because you are here. Because seeing your smile makes it worthwhile. It is a pity.
Even fate that let us meet prevents us from being together. I think I don't know you well enough to understand your feelings now. I certainly am confused by mine.
Yet slowly, after this dies down, I will try and return. Even though nothing is forever I will do my best to make it last forever.
Just wait for me.
And believe.

From,
Kato Shigeaki

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harhar. has no idea about plot really.

Labels: boysloveLOVE, fic, shige love

Mood level's low. I can't type coherently.
Life's unfair. Yes. I agree. That is why I will make it horrible for others too.
I hate free loaders. They don't deserve success of other's hardwork. If you can't juggle your other commitments with school work, choose one to focus on. One that doesn't drag other's down, or you will be thrown overboard. Not even the captain of the ship can save your sorry skin, so bribing is only a short term method. Because when we get to shore, even the captain will suffer the same fate. You may be good at something, doesn't mean you can improve it at other's expense. It is very tiring for others. Not to mention that leeching praise for something you did not do, arguing that you did something and you are not in the wrong is on the same degree of being mentally unsound.
YOU did NOT do anything. For teamwork EVEN IN SCHOOL WORK, doing something means you do it willingly. Not being forced and dragged to do it. Moreover, do the WHOLE ASSIGNMENT. NOT ONLY THE FIRST PART. Which person would be so blatantly thickskined to argue that it is passable? Why don't you do that for your other commitments instead? Save your arguments and explain to the REAL captain of the ship. I really cannot and will not tolerate that type of APATHETIC, FUCKED UP, INSOLENT, INCONSIDERATE AND RUDE BEHAVIOUR.
Other people are blind to them or are sympathetic doesn't mean the WHOLE WORLD WOULD. I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE AND DESPISE THAT SORT OF THINKING. So, YOU have to change, or PACK UP AND LEAVE. There are ways to save your pathetic self. Either you cope or you quit. And for YOUR LEVEL OF INTELLECT, I'll recommend to quit. The important part in life is also knowing when to quit.
YOUR CONSCIENCE WILL AND MOST DEFINITELY HAUNT YOU.
Because I am SICK of wasting this anger on SUCH A BARBARIAN.

Labels: ranting

yay. more drabbles please.
i need to improve my languages to criticise more people (:

Labels: ranting

fanfic. ending is bad. very bad. a lot of things never explain ahaha.... but. my brain is fried and i don't care xD i like looking at ikura but dont like eating. the oil taste is horrible cuz it's too oily lawls. note to self: eat things ryo likes with caution.
now to the fic! ;D
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The sunshine was the first thing I noticed when I first came to. There was a tall figure lying at the table near me. I had no idea how I came to be in the hospital. Only that person was the answer to my many questions.

So I found out that I fell and hit my head hard on the pavement. Then I realized I did not know my name. My parents couldn’t be contacted. Nor my friends. And i realized he was all I knew. He told me that I had amnesia. I may forget what will happen when I regain my other memories, so I’m supposed to keep a diary.
So, my other self, what did you do when you were on the pavement? Why weren’t you careful?

Shiro-san is very kind to me. He gave me lodging and even offered to take care of me. He said it’s his responsibility as he found me. I am very grateful to him. I hope I will not forget him when I regain my other memories.

Each day was lazy. I found out that I can play the guitar. I love red bean. I wonder what I liked before this. Maybe I am a musician. I tried to find out about my past from Shiro-san. It seemed that he knew the past me, as he was shocked when I told him that I like red bean. Maybe I didn’t like red bean in the past.
He always told me not to worry about my past. He said that it is more interesting that way and it’s like my new lease of life. So I began to notice things around me.

Like that I don’t really know much about Shiro-san’s background, except that he has weird friends. Shiro-san has a melancholic smile. I tried asking him about what caused this, but he just brushed it off and said it was nothing. From then on I tried not to make him sad.
----
I caught him dancing today. He looked embarrassed when I asked him to teach me. The dance is easy and the beat is very catchy. I learnt many dance moves and he even offered to teach me the lyrics to the songs. I think my favourite would be best friend. His friends were surprised then they saw that I learnt the steps so quickly.
----
When Shiro-san almost got knocked down by a car, I realized how much I felt for him. I hope he accepts me on his birthday. It is 2 days from now. I have decided on my surprise.
----------------
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“Oh! He’s awake!”
“How many fingers do you see?”“You were unconscious for a day!”

“Uhh… what happened?2. Really? Shige answered Tego, Massu and Ryo together.
“Why am I here? All I remembered was hitting my head…”
“Eh read this.” Shige read it. “Why isn’t there an ending? What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Ah!” Shige suddenly sat up very quickly when Koyama entered.
“Happy birthday, Keii-chan.”

Labels: boysloveLOVE, fic

hoo yay~
sharing 2 random pics >D

Labels: shige love

is sick. and tired. and terribly and utterly unfocused. <--- haha. i'll probably get a headache, but not severe enough to skip school. i'm falling sick over a few days already. yet there's no climax. just a gradient of zero. maths killed my brain. literature also killed my brain. history didn't. because i can't be bothered to do. PI killed me long ago. and i have no resolve to do a good PI. i need a change of mind. anyone? hitler is bad. he oppressed the poor homosexuals. but i like homos. and hitler. yay for contradiction. and i should be doing my work instead of this. wow. that was my meagre concentration's input. i need a bigger RAM. i keep crashing. i needed to restart like five times today. and i'm really catching a virus. a flu virus. i can't seem to run fast enough after my nose. and there's data that just stuck itself to my memory. it keeps popping out after i forgot about it. then i get reminded again. and lag somewhat. the worst thing is, i can't delete it. rebooting is impossible. i'm getting sick of this. really sick.
literally and metaphorically.

now to get input a.k.a dinner.

Labels: ranting

happy birthday yamapi~

from where he was going to eat his cake ;D

Labels: birthday

when the era of human like robots come around, will i be as crazy? humanoid, like in Absolute Boyfriend. then again, it's only a boyfriend. nothing closer, nothing less intimate. though i''ll also like to design one, just for me. even though there might be a tendency for me to change according to my mood xD
more on this later. tomorrow. wednesday. if i have time hurhur. ;/
right now, i want a shige lookalike more then shige himself. because i think i might not be able to accept some of his personality traits, because the image i know of him is probably different from the true him. i don't want to short change shige ^^;; so i'll rather shape the image of shige in my own mind. sorry shige! ^^;;
but! gambatte! i'll work for something i feel that i'm worthy of! ;D

Labels: ranting

things i'd do to isutt <<<<< style="color:#cccccc;">41 WAYS TO COPE WITH ISUTT.

PHYSICALLY TORTURE HIM.
1. strangle him.
2. stuff toilet paper in his mouth.
3. shave him bald and stuff his hair in his mouth.
4. tie him upside-side down to a tree and wait for him to stave until he's skinny enough to slide down himself.
5. control bees to sting his mouth so his lips will swell like mad so he'll shut up.
6. safety pin his mouth.
7. stitch up his mouth.
8. glue his mouth together.
9. make him slap himself until his mouth bleeds.
10. ram his bottle in his mouth.
11. punch out his teeth.
12. stuff his hands in his mouth then tie him up.
13. stuff chilli, sambal, lemon, bitter gourd and seal his mouth with hot wax.
14. staple his mouth together.
15. stick needles into him. anywhere but the eyes because i want him to see himself being tortured.
16. slam his whole face into the glass door.
17. tie his legs to the opposite hands from the back and dangle him like a trussed chicken.
18. make him lick his shoes.
19. tie his tongue to a pole so he'll never be able to close his mouth.
20. stuff hot charcoal in his mouth.
21. stuff dry ice in his mouth.

MENTALLY TORTURE HIM.
22. make him listen to a tape saying "i'm a noisy fucktard" for 3 days straight.
23. lock him in a room indefinitely.
24. say "you're so stupid you don't know?" (increasing pitch)everytime he asks a question.
25. disturb him by talking to the "invisible person" beside him everytime he tries to talk to you.
26. when he asks who are you talking to with "you crazy ar?" or without say only intelligent people can see and hear my friend, unlike you who fails even at breathing.
27. hide his spectacles. then, make him break it by sitting on it. (i really pity the chair.)
28. make fun of his handwriting.
29. make fun of the way he speaks.
isutt:"but then is like...., i mean it's like...."
you: " but then it's like, you are so retarded. i mean it's like you so obviously fail at life."
30. ignore him when he speaks to you. then later pass him a note that is hand written "i think you lost your voice. because i only see your fat lips flapping. then when i called you never answer. i'm so glad that you're mute and dumb! (insert smiley face)
31. say "since you don't know you shuold do research and find out." for everything he asks.
32. NOT FOR PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO TOUCH HIM. purposely walk into him then say "you were there meh?"
33. dump his bag near the dustbin when he tries to sit with you at breaks.
34. record yourself saying " [insert his bloody name] sucks!" and set as ringtone. then tell him to call you because you want him to listen to your ringtone. set to max and hold next to his ear so it'll blast.
35. say "wahlao [insert bloody name]!" every 1 minute then shake your head and gice him the i-can't-believe-you-are-so-stupid sigh.
36. spill drinks over him and say "wah your stupidity spreading! it made me trip!"
37. slam his table suddenly then go aaah! if attempting repeated times,
38. flip his table or do something surpprising each time.
39. call him by any other name but [insert bloody name]. then if doesn't answer literally shake him and say "are you all right?! you don't even recognise your name!"
40. point at him and laugh. when he asks look at him in a sweeping motion [down to up or vice versa]and start laughing again.
41. say he wore his school pants backwards. then force him to go and change or else you won't let him out of the toilet.

Labels: ranting

requiem; song to celebrate the dead.
i want shige to write a song for me when i'm dead. heh.

Labels: ranting, shige love

gah. i'm not creative. thanks la.
i'm the most contradictory person on earth. yay.
but being contradictory is good because i get best of both worlds in a way.
not to mention also undecisive.
why? i like to keep my options open.
i seriously have a problem. help. help help help.
*imagines someone looking like Shige/Mori/Hitsugaya/[Anyone else I've so pathethically forgotten.]
i'm sick of feeling guilty even for things i did not do.
it's like i'm trying to accomadate to everyone.


my name has a lot of peculiar meanings and quite famous people have the name too.
in surname of first name
i'm so not honoured.

Labels: ranting

yay it's NEWS! I like to make pretty boys gay.
I want to rule the world.
I must be positive.
I'm a paedophile.
I want UEDA. My HIME!!

iSpeak;

iKnow;

candice
jolene
julitta
sarah
sora
stella
yuhan

Kiwi Musume
Megchan
iJC Portal
PW Portal
History Notes
VNManga

iLoveNEWS;

Kato Shigeaki. 1987.07.11
Koyama Keiichiro 1984.05.01
Tegoshi Yuuya 1987.11.11
Masuda Takahisa 1986.07.04
Yamashita Tomohisa 1985.04.09
Nishikido Ryo 1984.11.03


Ueda Tatsuya 1983.10.04
Tanaka Koki 1985.11.05
Nakamaru Yuichi 1983.09.04
Kamenashi Kazuya 1986.02.23
Taguchi Junnosuke 1984.11.29
Akanishi Jin 1984.07.04


January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008